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Here’s how a developer applied to Pornhub – standing out with a juicy cover letter

An open application to a job listing at Pornhub. When a plain bread & butter cover letter is a dime a dozen, you need to be guac toast.

[Brazzers ad before the feature content]

Hello,
I came across your job listing for a PHP software developer role, probably a less visited section of Pornhub, and it certainly looks like a position that I’m capable of.

You’re looking for a full stack developer, and I may have just the right endowments. I sure know how to work the full stack – I’m comfortable working the front end and the back end if you know what I mean, and my knowledge of PHP goes DEEP.

Please admire all of my bared CV, but I’d like to draw your focus to my role at employer redacted as it has the most relevant experience for this role. In addition, I’ve done some projects with the Yii framework, and work intimately with WordPress on a regular basis. I have a bachelor’s degree in computer science as well as some experience in a Masters program, and I’ve worked LONG and HARD as a full stack developer for over a decade – this isn’t my first time ;)

I know that part of the application process usually asks the interviewee what about the company excites them, and indeed what about Pornhub isn’t exciting? I’m not ashamed to disclose that I am familiar with the service.

And because I’m the full package, moi je parle français aussi – j’ai étudié le français depuis jardin jusqu’au 12e année.

I’m familiar with running LAMP and MEAN stacks, I keep my own commercial and personal servers up all night. I host my blog among other websites, and run various developer services at home (Atlassian tooling, etc)

So what do you say to getting me on the casting couch and I’ll bare it all. Lets keep it safe and virtual and not spread anything unwanted.

I’ve got to go now, but you can find me on this website website redacted no credit card required.

Regards,
[The applicant]